Today I found myself walking in circles.

The same damn circles I have walked around for years.

In fact, the circles are so well worn, I can walk them with my eyes closed.

I can dance around them, stumble around them, drag my toes, cry, jump, scream or trudge around them, never missing a beat.

I’m tired of those damn circles.

I want to walk in squares.

In triangles.

In zig-zags and loop-de-loops.

I want more in my life than circles.

Yet, every time I think I have taken a step away from the restrictiosn of that May Pole ribbon, I realized the ribbon isn’t being held in my hand, but it is more like a lasso tied around my waist.

I can’t get away.

So, I walk in patient circles.

Hoping the lasso will break.

I have all these ideas, plans of grandeur, unattainable goals and dreams that are made of cotton candy and gumdrops.

But, I’m not sure how to make any of them any more real than unicorns and rivers of gold.

I want to move forward.

But I’m tied to the present.

Lassoed to the past.

Moving with deliberation, realizing that not moving will be my demise.

But, deliberate movement isn’t meaningful with the bowl of water you are reaching for is more than a finger’s length away from the May Pole.

There are days when I wake up and I feel like I am taking my first step out of bed onto a tipping point of life.

You know what I mean.

Those days when you wake up and you can tell in the fibers of your toes that something, something big, is going to change.

Those days when you know that life is going to happen.

I can tell my life is at a tipping point.

And for the first time, I don’t care where it tips to.

I just need it to tip.

Or break.

Free me from the circles.

I need something to change.

And I keep working.

Willing change.

Making change.

Working toward what I know will be good.

But, until then, I guess my movements serve little more purpose than keep me moving.

Keeping me from stagnating.

And I guess stagnating is a form of dying.

I want to move forward.

I want to be free.

And independent.

Liberated.

Completely.

But.

That isn’t in my deck of cards right now.

I need to trudge the circle a little bit longer.

Taking the time to figure out where I’ll go when I get the opportunity.

Making sure that I’m building a strong enough foundation to move forward from as soon as I can.

I’ll breath.

I’ll laugh.

I appreciate.

And I’ll continue to hope.

And I’ll trust.

And one day…eventually…I will be free.

Forever released from the purgatory of circles.